Coaches and Preparing Your Brain to Succeed E24

We all need others.  Personal Coach and Fitness expert, Gail Cuthbert is interviewed about the profound impact coaching had on her and the natural fit it was to begin her own coaching business with the work she was already doing.

We all need support.  Part of it comes through the powerful listening a coach can give as we get to where we want to go.

Key comments with our current environment and managing all of the change: 

• Stop your energy leaks by employing a number of practices, such as: drinking enough water, forgiving yourself and others, finishing what you started, and more.
• I'm doing awesome, until I'm not.  Then I reach out.
• Help your brain plan for a good outcome.

To reach Gail Schaub Cuthbert for coaching:  Search for her on Facebook and use FB Messenger to connect, or send her a text at 253-334-9107.

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Note: Episode was recorded under the former podcast name of "3Ps in a Pod"

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Transcript

[00:00:07] Lenora: Welcome to 3Ps In A Pod, a podcast about purpose, pathways and perspectives. And I'm Lenora Turner your host. I love talking with you each week. Thank you for your time. Listening to this episode. 

[00:00:20] My guest is Gail Cuthbert today. Gail is a fitness expert, as well as a personal coach. And before we even start, I want you to know you can reach out to her on Facebook, on Facebook she's Gale Shaub Cuthbert, G a I L S C H a U B Cuthbert, C U T H B E R T. And you can message her if you want to reach out to her as a coach, I think you're going to really enjoy the things she shares and here we go . 

[00:00:51] Gail, welcome.

[00:00:54]Gail: Hi, good morning. 

[00:00:56] Lenora: It's so good to, to have you on the podcast. You and I go way back. We've seen our kids grow up somewhat together, but I've watched you and your work as a personal trainer, as a fitness trainer, and now as a coach.  So I thought, gosh, we could have an episode and talk about both you starting your business, but also with all the stresses going on in this world, some tips about, you know, self-care. There's just a lot going on and we want to be healthy in as many ways as possible right now.

[00:01:26] So who's Gail Cuthbert. I know you, but the audience does not.

[00:01:31] Gail: That is a great question. Thank you. First of all, thank you. So much for having me on. I have known you for many years and highly, highly respect you. Some things that I've learned from you that just never leave me. Certain things will remind me of you Lenora. So this is a delight. Thank you. A little bit about me.

[00:01:50] I'm married to Ryan. We celebrated 32 years this last anniversary, and I can honestly say that we are having more fun and closer to each other than ever before. Of course, with COVID and being around each other a lot more than we're used to, it's been an adjustment, but we are riding the wave. We're on the surfboard, riding the wave every once in a while, we get knocked off a little bit.

[00:02:16] And then we have two grown children as well, who are both married to awesome people. And through them so far, we have four grand babies. From our, our oldest will be five here pretty soon. And then the youngest will be one pretty soon.

[00:02:29] Lenora: That's amazing. It's happened fast. Far faster for me than even for you, because I just see you off and on or speak to you right now, these days. 

[00:02:36] Gail: Yeah. And we live in the Northwest. I've worked in health and fitness since the eighties. So a long time. And recently became a coach, which is really cool.

[00:02:47] Lenora:  How did you get into being a coach and into this personal development sector?

[00:02:53] Gail: Yeah. Great question. So, as I mentioned, I've been involved in health and fitness for a long time and can geek out on it. And then over the years, just seeing the struggle that people have being consistent, sticking with things, you know, they say they want something and then they don't actually go after it.

[00:03:09] And I've experienced that myself in other areas, you know, we all have habits and, parts of life that we do really well. And then there are parts that we struggle with. So that's always been kind of humming in the back of my mind. And five years ago, I stepped out of my world I was living in where I was learning and growing, and I took a risk, and I invested more money than I'd ever invested at that time into some personal development.

[00:03:34] It was with a group I didn't know a whole lot about, but I just felt very drawn. And it just started this journey of growth in ways that I am. Every day I'm grateful that I made that move because I see the fruit in my life. And so I was with that one particular organization for a couple of years, took many of their courses and in the process, I had a coach. 

[00:03:56] I had a coach a couple times and then coaching from various people along the way, but I got to discover like what worked, what was working for me, what didn't and the power of having somebody who will listen to me, like really listen to me powerfully and listen past all my excuses and my smallness and my nya nya nya, like I can't do this, you know? 

[00:04:21] And it was completely life changing, completely life changing. And that person is still my friend to this day and we still call each other for coaching. I talked to her two days ago. So yeah, I experienced the power of having a coach. And then a couple of years ago I got involved with another group that's more entrepreneurial-focused, specifically.

[00:04:46] But they're also really holistic. Like everything comes into play in this group, whether it's your family or your emotions, your inner life, your outer life. And your entrepreneurial expression, which is not how you earn money; it's the way you live your life.

[00:04:59] And an entrepreneur in this group, we'd define as somebody who is a problem solver, and it doesn't matter how you get paid; it matters that you come at things as a problem solver. Whether you don't earn any money from it, whether it's your W2 job or whether it's a side hustle or a business. So in this group I had an opportunity to become a coach.

[00:05:21] So I did, and I finished that certification this year during COVID and quarantine, or I wasn't quarantined, but yeah, we were, you know, on lockdown. I also needed to get some continuing ed credits for my fitness certification. So I finished a course in that industry as well. So I have two certifications now as a coach and as I've had the opportunity to coach people, I just I just can't even tell you what it's like for me, it is so satisfying and I see all the parts of my life come together to help other people find their power to get traction and actually move the needle on what they say matters to them. 

[00:06:02] And sometimes it's, you know, somebody will start the conversation wanting to talk about business, but then what comes up is the thing that's really causing the most pain right now is what's happening in their home with their kids.

[00:06:13] And so we kind of go down that trail and it's just so satisfying to see people get breakthroughs and help their whole life start working.

[00:06:23] Lenora: So you were saying that you have gotten a couple specific certifications for coaching and you have like, I think it's, what is it 13 altogether?

[00:06:32] Gail: Yes. 11 are from the, well, I guess 12 are from the fitness industry.

[00:06:37] Lenora: Yeah, I know some of your we talked about this, you have a hundred X certified coach. You're an ACE behavioral change specialist and a personal ACE, personal trainer and group exercise instructor. So you do cover things from multiple directions.

[00:06:51] Gail: Yes I do.

[00:06:52] Lenora: But I noticed something. Yeah. Yeah. I also liked something that I saw in the email when we were exchanging prior to this episode.

[00:07:01] And it fit with something you just said earlier.  In your email, you have a comment that says "Things that excite you aren't random. They're connected to your purpose. Follow them." Because you just said, you're doing this coaching stuff now, and you have coached people in the exercise thing.

[00:07:16] I know the way I've seen you do it, you're very interactive. You're always very personal with people. But you were saying how excited this was, how satisfying it was. So. Talk about that. How do you help people? Because you know, sometimes you have to get a job just because you got to pay the bills and you just have to get good at anything.

[00:07:32] And people think you can run down a pathway on follow your passion when you have no skills, when you have no way to make any money and you do have to pay your bills. But I do think also in the long-term, we have certain ways we're wired and things that we are better at and we care more about, and you can find ways, I think in the perfect world to get paid for things you genuinely care about.

[00:07:57] So was that a piece you found out, oh my gosh, I love this coaching thing so much that you wanted to make it part of your income stream?

[00:08:05] Gail: Absolutely. Absolutely. And right now, I'm not working in a gym. I am not training people.

[00:08:10] Lenora: Yeah, kind of hard isn't it? 

[00:08:11] Gail: I'm not doing training; I'm not teaching classes. And so, this is great. This is mobile. I can coach people anywhere I have my computer and internet. And face-to-face right if I have that opportunity, but I also see that it's a huge, it was a huge missing component in what I was doing as a trainer.

[00:08:29] So now, if I go back to that, I'm not completely sure if I will. Still figuring that out. However, I will incorporate coaching as part of it, because I was doing it along the way, but it was random little, short opportunity conversations in the middle of a workout before or after class.

[00:08:48] Standing in the hallway. I told you yesterday when we were talking, you know, anywhere I go, I can be the last person out of the room because I love to talk to people. I love to listen to people. And in the past, the way I tried to make a difference was by teaching, giving advice, even unsolicited advice.

[00:09:07] Lenora: Oh, I've never done that.

[00:09:09] Gail: Yeah, I know. I don't ever do it anymore.  Har. Har. What the difference in coaching is that really the conversation should be about 80, 20. It should be about 80% of the client and 20% me. And it's me asking questions and digging deeper. You and I were doing it before the call, right?

[00:09:28] Like, well, what's stopping you? What's missing? Why won't you?

[00:09:31] Lenora: Yeah, I was getting some free coaching from Gail before we started.

[00:09:34] Gail: What's the cost to you if you don't do this, like look five years down the road, and then when you come up, like brainstorm anything that comes out and then ask yourself, well, why? why? why? why? Dig down. Because, you know, we say we want things and then we sabotage ourselves.

[00:09:47] Why is that? Anyway, in coaching, I kind of got off track. Sorry about that. But in coaching it's about me asking good questions and helping you come up with your own answers. And I might have a suggestion along the way, because I do have a lot of experience in everything from being married to raising children, to, you know, the challenges of life.

[00:10:06] I almost, I had a horrible car accident a couple of years ago. And that's been a journey of healing.

[00:10:12] Lenora: Yeah. You mentioned that. Say how that really shook you and kind of opened your eyes up to... talk about that. 

[00:10:18] Gail: I mean, it was part of this process because I, so that was two years ago I'd been in the entrepreneurial community for a while at that point; a few months. And we were at a red light. We started to drive when the light turned green. We weren't going very fast and we were all the way across the intersection, and somebody came flying down the road. 

[00:10:40] They ran the red light and plowed into our vehicle. We didn't see it coming like we were driving and then we were spinning and smelling our airbags. And now looking back at that, like if they had been one inch off in where they hit us, I could be dead or paralyzed.

[00:10:56] I did get hurt. I did strike my head. I did get a brain injury. And that's been an interesting thing to deal with. I've learned a lot, but it also has made me realize how fast life can change and how I'm not guaranteed. And I better go after what really matters to me. And yeah.

[00:11:15] Lenora: Yeah, those are moments you don't ever want to have. I can remember years ago and thank God I didn't even end up in an accident, but I was on my way to work, crossing over an intersection. And sometimes I'm in a hurry and you just want to be impatient. And as soon as that light changes, boom, you're moving.

[00:11:33] And I was more mellow that day. I had spent more time just paying attention to life and was a little more mellow. And so I think it was a little more aware of the circumstances. And I was literally just starting and out of the corner of my eye I saw somebody bolting the opposite direction and they, I was able to screech and stop.

[00:11:53] I mean, with my brakes and it was so close for us hitting and he would have T-boned me right on my door. If I had stepped out any sooner. And actually, the person on the passenger side, we actually didn't end up hitting, but the person on the passenger side first looked over at me like I was the one at fault, but the driver looked at me and just put his head down.

[00:12:17] Cause he was like, Oh my gosh, that would, he knew it was his fault. And we were so thankful, nothing happened. So we both ended up moving on, but what a shocker to go that could have been it right there. We aren't guaranteed anything. So, we got to find out, okay, what, I mean, the, it got deep, fast, but to go you know, you just begin to also really thankful and like, Oh my gosh, look at all the things I do have, but yet also taking a look at things.

[00:12:44] And sadly, you can go back to normal really quick and not take advantage of that wake-up call to, to, gosh, maybe there's things I could do different. Maybe there's things I could have that I want, or what do I really want? So you're saying that's part of what you're doing is helping people kind of pursue what they say they want?

[00:13:03] I mean it's pretty common now to think of a personal coach maybe, but obviously the older terms or formerly used more commonly is a person on the sidelines of a sports team, that's trained you in practice and coaching you on the court or the field or whatever while you're playing. But a personal coach, is a little bit different than that, like you said.

[00:13:22] So can you want to say anything more about that with that goal is?

[00:13:26] Gail: Sure. Well, you think of an athletic coach. Okay. Back to your example, there's a famous coach and I don't know who said this. I believe it was a football coach. Forgive me. He said, it's my job to help people accomplish something that they've always wanted to accomplish their whole life. And get them to do the things that they won't do in order to accomplish that.

[00:13:52] And so, you know, the goal is to win a game and to work together as a team and to make that all happen. But, you know, they have to address other issues in these people's lives in order to help them perform, because we're not just an athlete who can show up, play an awesome game and have a horrible home life, or, you know, be failing in other areas, have addictions and other issues going on.

[00:14:12] Like you want to show up with all systems firing, no leaks. Right? So Yeah. I've had people hire me as their coach and they say, you know, they have a fitness goal, but in the process for one of my clients, now she is actually, and this just kind of came up. I don't think that we ever specifically talked about it, but she's decided, too, that she is going to stop her photography business and dial it back to about 20% of what it is because she wants to enjoy these last years of her kids living in her house before they are adults, and they are gone and spend more time with her husband. 

[00:14:47] And just not be so distracted. Right. I have another person who came to me for business coaching. And in the beginning she looked really distressed. And I said, she's like, how do we do this? Cause she had never had a coach before. And I said, well, it's about whatever matters to you. What matters to you right now? I mean, you found me through this entrepreneurial group, but I don't want to assume it has to do with business. And she just sat there quietly for an uncomfortable amount of time for me. And I just was quiet listening. And she said, our daughter told us the other day that she was asked to be somebody's girlfriend.

[00:15:23] And then she pauses... she's 12  and we're not okay with that. And then it also turned out like this is their, their story. It was by a girl. So their daughter was asked to be a girl's girlfriend. And so we talked that through and she came up with some steps she could take to just get closer to her daughter and to find out what's actually going on in her daughter's life.

[00:15:48] And that whole family now has a different relationship with each other. If we hadn't gone down that trail, but we started with a business conversation.

[00:15:56] Lenora: Yeah.  That's good. I like what you said, it's kind of holistic. You mentioned leaks. You talked about plugging the leaks. It's about plugging the leaks. So can you say a little bit more about what you mean about leaks?

[00:16:08] Gail: Sure. Well, that, that came up, I believe. Yeah. I shared with you. I've been going live on my personal Facebook page and I've been going live for 26 days now. Sharing little tips on how to recharge your energy, how to keep your energy and plug the leaks. Because I don't know about you Lenora, but I, I know a lot about this stuff and I have struggled with energy, just like there's so much; we're living in such a different world today than we were a year ago, you know, and all the things we've had to navigate, there's a lot.

[00:16:41] So it's been like, I thought, okay, this has gotta be important to other people also, but this comes up in coaching. Right? So some of the things I've talked about, it's everything from drinking water to forgiving and being committed to being unoffendable and, you know, I have a whole list in front of me that I could share, but.

[00:16:57] Lenora: You can share a couple.

[00:17:00] Gail: So think about physically, you know, just making sure you drink enough water. That can be a huge game changer.

[00:17:05] Lenora: That's come up on a few episodes when I talked to Dr. Jantz too, that's a big deal.

[00:17:09] Gail: I found out a lot of people just don't. And so what is the appropriate amount of water? Are you ready? Do you know the answer?

[00:17:17] Lenora: Well, I know some answers.

[00:17:19] Gail: Okay. Okay. Here's my answer. I'm right.

[00:17:24] Lenora: Probably are, you got all those sorts of certifications.

[00:17:26] Gail: No, it's half of your weight in ounces. So if you weigh 150 pounds, 75 ounces.

[00:17:33] Lenora: I have my 32-ouncers that I will make of a, like a protein drink, I don't use as much protein as they would say, but I add a lot more water and I'll do a couple of those.

[00:17:43] I like some kind of flavor in mine.

[00:17:45] Gail: Exactly. You need to know how large your container is and then do the math and figure it out. And there's all kinds of tricks about that. I even did a five-day free challenge on Facebook of how drinking more water. And we shared a lot of tips in there on how to actually do that, but it is a huge game changer.

[00:18:02] Lenora: It can affect your mood. I understand it certainly affects digestion. It affects all kinds of things. It can help. I bet you, it even helps sleep. Tell me I'm right. Other than if you have to get up and go to the bathroom.

[00:18:12] Gail: Yeah, well there, that might be an issue at first, right? Our bodies are about 70% water. And so if we are dehydrated our bodies don't function the way they were designed to function. I don't care if you're talking about your brain or your ability to lose weight or your mood you know, your breathing ability, your muscles, athletic performance, all of it. 

[00:18:34] It's all regulated you've got to have enough water in your system for your cells to work. Think about blood. Like I've seen blood, maybe you've seen it under a powerful microscope, and you can see sometimes blood cells are literally stuck to each other and sometimes they're floating freely, and you want them to be floating freely because those cells, I'm thinking red blood cells, they are important. And if they're stuck together, all their surfaces are not available.

[00:19:04] Lenora: Okay. So it's obviously very, very important and it certainly can help also reduce your appetite so that you aren't pressured as much there to always want to want to eat.

[00:19:13] Gail: Yeah. I mean, sometimes we think we're hungry. And we're really thirsty. Sometimes we think, Oh, I mean, I do this too. I know this, but I still have to practice it, right? So I'll think, Oh, another cup of coffee. It's like, no, actually I'm hungry and I need to drink some water, you know, like plug in what is actually going on.

[00:19:28] Don't just because we can get kind of in these reactive habits where we don't think first.

[00:19:34] Lenora: Yeah. And then, okay. Think of another or share one another leak. 

[00:19:38] Gail: Oh, sure. Not finishing things.  Like starting things and not finishing them.

[00:19:43] Lenora: I do that with my sentences all the time. I interrupt.

[00:19:47] Gail: Well, I'm not sure that that would boost your... It probably would boost your energy because you're like, yes, I did it.

[00:19:53] Lenora: Like squirrel I'm off onto a new topic.

[00:19:56] Gail: Exactly. But you know, like I can start five things in the kitchen and then I stop and look, and I've got, you know, this is out on the counter. That's there. It's like Gail finish one thing, go to the next. You know, you think we can multitask, but it doesn't really work. 

[00:20:09] Phoning a friend, including other people in your life, especially if you're struggling. Like sometimes I have found this for sure. 

[00:20:15] Lenora: Reaching out. 

[00:20:16] Gail: Yeah. Like let's say it can be on a lot of levels, but I am trying to figure out a problem. I've thought about it for a week. I have not come up with a solution. I reach out for help. This is a real example for my life. And I have a conversation with somebody. 

[00:20:32] In the first two minutes, she completely answered my question, and I got a few more steps down the road, even in what I saw I could do to move the needle on my project. And then we just chatted for a few minutes. Right. It was very fast. Being in an emotional, mental swirl, you know, last week. I stayed stuck for a day and then I finally reached out to a friend and got my power back. Cause I was feeling very small and incapable at the moment. You know, that was what Dr. Jantz on your podcasts recently, he was talking about that and I was like, you're right, I need to call somebody now. So it can make a huge difference.

[00:21:13] Lenora: Yeah, that is a theme I've tried to infuse more into my own adult children and my own self is, Hey, like what you and I have said to each other, we're not meant to do this alone. And yes, I, I'm a great believer in personal power and what we can do and how much we're personally responsible for my choices.

[00:21:33] But I also know we're meant to work with people. We're meant to have partnerships. We're meant to work together. It's so much more satisfying, so much more fun, but it's a little bit vulnerable to reach out,

[00:21:42] Gail: It is.

[00:21:43] Lenora: But it's worth it. It's so worth it. And you find out that people are going through some of the same things and there's other times I've called, told me to encourage them or to get encouragement. I've actually been the one who's ended up encouraging. So it works both directions.

[00:21:59] Gail: it really does. Yeah. And really like what you think about how our brains work. I have a certain thinking preference. I was designed that way. I see things a certain way. I process information and the way I approach a social situation can be very different than how my husband does or how you do, but we need each other's brains.

[00:22:18] Like my friend said, we usually marry the other half of our brain. And I think that's true. But you don't have to marry somebody to get the benefit of their brain and their thinking style and their perspective.

[00:22:31] Lenora: Oh, that's good. I love the book, The People Code.  It was such a game changer for me on some insights. And uh, thank you, Gail. I know we're going to go ahead and wrap up this episode. So I want to make sure that I have in the podcast notes, how people can contact you, but if they are looking for a coach, if you, as a listener are looking for a coach, reach out to Gail.

[00:22:53] You might want to have a conversation with her about options and things like that because we all need each other. We got to find ways to plug the leaks. Boy, there's lots of opportunity to be distracted and discouraged and with all of the challenges going on. So why don't you wrap up by sharing one final thought of encouragement for people and then how to contact you?

[00:23:15] Gail: Sure. I'll share this. We are living in a time of history that's never happened before, and we're all dealing with it in different ways and we can get stuck in different ways. Maybe we've experienced great success, you know, in something and then utter failure in another. And I was laughing yesterday telling Lenora if people say, how are you doing with all this?

[00:23:38] Maybe somebody who I haven't seen for a while. And I'll say, I'm doing awesome; until I'm not. You know, because it's the reality. And so, like, we just need to give ourselves permission to learn, to learn a new way of living, of interacting with one another, of recognizing the things that aren't serving us any longer.

[00:23:58] Maybe we need to limit our exposure let's just say to the news and social media. I know a lot of people who are fasting social media right now, and they're really excited about it. But you know, we've got to recognize our own capacities.  So that's one thing I would say. The second thing I would say in closing is something I'm learning the value of is pausing and picturing, like whatever I'm about to do.

[00:24:23] Like even this conversation with you, Lenora. I knew it was going to happen and I just pictured it happening a certain way that I would be clear thinking, I would, I would be able to express myself clearly, that we would have fun, and it would really make a difference for the people who listened. Like it took me a minute, maybe. 

[00:24:41] I don't know, I just, I just kept picturing it. So it didn't take me a big, long time. I didn't get all fancy with it. But the value of doing that is our brains are designed to keep us safe. And if we don't give it a positive picture to help us move forward on that next step and having a positive outcome and just pausing to picture it, then all our brain can do is refer backward to the past and how things have gone.

[00:25:05] And I would say we tend to focus on where we didn't nail it, where we didn't do well, where we fell flat of our hopes and expectations. And then we approach the situation I guess more doomed to fail, if it's okay to say it that way. So, that's what I would say. Be gracious to yourself and others. And take a moment to picture ahead of time, what you want; how you want things to go. 

[00:25:29] Lenora: We want our imaginations, which are very powerful, to be used for us, and don't let them be used against us.

[00:25:36] Gail: Yes. And remind us of what the three P's are again for your podcast.

[00:25:40] Lenora: purpose pathways and perspectives.

[00:25:43] Gail: Yeah. That all fits perfectly with that. Right? We're on a path of some kind. Sometimes we only see one step. Sometimes we see the whole path, what we think, and then it turns, and then it's something we didn't expect. Right? But you need perspective constantly has to adjust as we live out our purpose as humans in all the different hats that we wear.

[00:26:03] Lenora: And we do wear a lot of hats. 

[00:26:05] Gail: We do. 

[00:26:05] Lenora: So thank you, Gail. I really appreciate this time. You've said some great things. How can people contact you? I'll have it in the notes, too.

[00:26:12] Gail: Yeah, you'll put it in the notes. Great. So the best way to reach me is honestly, through Facebook and Facebook messenger. So the messenger is critical because I will see the notification and it won't slip through and you can also text me. I'm completely fine with that to give out my number. And that number is 253-334-9107. 

[00:26:33] And on Facebook I'm Gail Schaub Cuthbert, G a I L S C H a U B. And then Cuthbert is C U T H B E R T. And then if you message me or text me, I will see it and respond. I will also say about coaching too, that you can have a free 30-minute clarity call just to talk to kind of feel each other out, see if we're right for each other.

[00:26:58] And if you message me, I will send you the link so you can schedule that. No pressure.

[00:27:02] Lenora: Excellent. Gail. Thank you. Look forward to connecting again personally. And thank you for being on this episode of 3Ps In A Pod.

[00:27:10] Gail: Thank you for having me. 

[00:27:12] Lenora: Thanks for listening. Please subscribe to this podcast and go to Lenoradiane.com and sign up for emails so that we can make sure and get you some free eBooks when they're available. I will get those out. But again, thanks for listening. 

[00:27:29] We're all navigating through many things these days. Take good care of you.