Are You Enjoying Yourself? E30

Are you enjoying yourself?  Kathy and Lenora have fun discussing whether or not we enjoy who we are and the great energy that can come out of something so simple and effective as knowing one's own value.

Ancient wisdom tells us that we become what we repeatedly think about.  We can use our head to talk to our heart and regain the benefits of enjoying our own value.

One thing we are to know well is the profound creative value of who we are.  It is a game changer for how to enjoy life.

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Transcript

Enjoy Yourself

Lenora Turner:    Welcome to this podcast. This is episode number 30 of 3Ps In A Pod, purpose, pathways and perspectives. 

[00:00:15] Thanks for listening. And I hope you subscribe to this podcast and rate this podcast and let us know things you may want to hear about  

[00:00:23] Lenora Turner: I have with me today, Kathy, the associate producer of this podcast. Hi Kathy. 

[00:00:28] Kathy Townsend: Hello. It is a wonderful day.

[00:00:31] Lenora Turner:  Oh, it's actually sunny. I hope it's nice for you. We don't always get that. So I think we have to celebrate, right.

[00:00:37] We're supposed to get a week of it. Thank God. Spring is here. And we are having an episode today about the topic we were debating what to call this.  What did we decide?

[00:00:48] Kathy Townsend: I hope you enjoy yourself. 

[00:00:50] Lenora Turner: I hope you enjoy yourself. Notice you can have an emphasis on different words there. This is specifically about do you enjoy yourself.

[00:01:00] I remember years ago I did little jobs, some of it wasn't actually acting. It was on a set where somebody else was acting. Or a few times I did some acting or I did some stage things a lot more. But many years ago, I remember being on a set for a commercial, I guess it was a couple of days. And I was there as an extra, just had a lot of fun with the other people that were there, and we did our thing and it was actually just fun, more fun, hanging out and joking with people between the times we were actually doing something on the set than what we actually did, but I remember thinking, gosh, I'm enjoying myself.

[00:01:38] And it was an emphasis of I'm enjoying myself. I was cracking myself up. I was having fun with myself and I thought that was kind of funny anyways.  Because I've had times in my life where I didn't even like myself.

[00:01:52] Kathy Townsend: Yeah. I think we all have, especially like when we're children, though, we seem to like ourselves better.

[00:01:57] We're more comfortable in our own skin, I think. 

[00:02:00] Lenora Turner: Well, and if you listen to last week's episode, which is on The People Code. I highly recommend you listen to that because it was really fun. And I've actually gotten calls on that one to say, Oh, wow, I really liked this episode. So you want to listen to it, but it helps you discover. 

[00:02:17] That book, The People Code helps you discover some of who you are, but like what you said, Kathy, sometimes when we're young, , maybe we're really playful or however you happen to be, but life is challenging. Sometimes we go through really, really hard things or the entire family was going through hard things where you didn't have family or who knows how you've been smacked by life, or how you were taught to believe about yourself, words that were said about you.

[00:02:45] And so we just wanted to chat for a while about, do you enjoy yourself? Do you enjoy who you are? 

[00:02:51] Kathy Townsend: Well, and something you were just talking about with The People Code, you know, understanding yourself better and how you're wired for instance is a great way to find out, more about you and , what comes naturally to you and to, and to be okay with whatever that answer is.

[00:03:06] Lenora Turner: Yeah. I think sometimes we are really pushed into, on purpose or accidental, feeling like, Oh, I'm supposed to be this way. I should look like this. I should feel like this. I should respond like this. And, Oh my gosh. And if, depending on your personalities, how are you going to respond to that? Some people have no problem going, yeah back off. I'm going to be me and no one's going to mess with that. Others of us turn right into whatever we think somebody else wants us to be. And we kind of lose track of who the heck am I really. And that's painful. That's not fun. 

[00:03:35] Kathy Townsend: And there's no wrong answer. It's okay to be who you are, who you were meant to be, who God created you to be. It's okay to be that person. 

[00:03:44] Lenora Turner: Yeah. 

[00:03:45] Kathy Townsend: And to give yourself permission. , 

[00:03:47] Lenora Turner: Isn't that funny? Giving yourself permission. It's kinda like you have this internal dialogue of letting yourself be the person that you are and say, Hey, it's okay that I don't like what they like or that I think different, I would approach something different. 

[00:03:59] Again, a lot of this you could gain out of The People Code, but because I highly recommend that book, I could just replay the episode, but I want to talk about a few more things on this. I like this ancient saying, or, it's a verse in the Bible.

[00:04:11] It was actually a King David who was talking, and there's a lot of different translations to this particular saying or this verse. So I'm going to read it the basic one and then talk more about it. It says, he's talking to God. He says, "I'll praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made marvelous are your works." So he's talking about himself saying I am marvelous.

[00:04:33] And he says, "And that my soul knows very well." Eventually that kind of hit me and said, wait a minute. I'm supposed to know really well that I'm pretty amazing, that I'm amazingly made in a marvelous work. So I did a word study cause I like to do word studies and let me read you the expanded one. I wrote out once.

[00:04:54] "I'll praise God as I recognize the power and position he's given me. I stand in awe and reverence to my design and give myself proper respect. My design is to be admired, respected, valued, and well-regarded. My design is astonishing. How you made me is set apart from your other creations, delightful and brilliant.

[00:05:21] Your work is magnificent and extraordinary and beyond anyone's power to create except yours. I'm stunning, excellent." And it makes me laugh just to read I'm stunning, excellent, awe-inspiring, and spectacular. My existence is a divine act and my soul is meant to know this thoroughly."  I'd wager you to say, a very slim minority of people know this thoroughly.

[00:05:52] Would you agree? What do you think? 

[00:05:54] Kathy Townsend: I, I'm encouraged just hearing it. 

[00:05:56] So

[00:05:57] Lenora Turner: I want to read that again. Let's just read that five or six times. 

[00:05:59] Kathy Townsend: Right? I mean, I'm going to look in the mirror and read those. 

[00:06:02] Lenora Turner: Yeah. 

[00:06:03] Kathy Townsend: I think you're right. I don't think most of us know that about ourselves, that we think of ourselves stunning and excellent and awe inspiring.

[00:06:12] I mean, 

[00:06:12] Lenora Turner: yeah. 

[00:06:13] Kathy Townsend: Those are good words. 

[00:06:14] Lenora Turner: And that person was saying that about their own design, about their own self. And it's not about being cocky or arrogant. It's recognizing what an amazing being a human is, and that's what you are. And we are to give ourselves proper respect. 

You know, somebody asked Jesus what the most important law was, because there's a lot of laws by then, even expanded and added and added to laws of what you were supposed to do. And he said, number one law is to love God. Number two is to love your neighbor as you love yourself, everything summed up into that. And I remember somebody saying, Hey, your problem is you love your neighbor as you love yourself.

[00:06:55] And they thought, what? Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? They said, yeah, except the problem is you hate yourself.  Which means you hate your neighbor. If you don't respect yourself, you cannot pull off long-term good treatment of other people. So note to self, if you really have a hard time loving people, being kind to people, I'd have to say at the root, you don't have proper respect for yourself.  

[00:07:19] Kathy Townsend: Now that's good.

[00:07:21] And that can make your relationships very difficult. 

[00:07:24] Lenora Turner: Oh, yeah. It's like trying to run a car on a long journey with an empty tank. You can't go anywhere. You're going to sit on the side of the road and you, your car looks like it's functional, but it's not going anywhere. Your life can be that way. You're just your tank is so empty.

[00:07:37] And gosh, that's, that's been a challenge these days with everything we faced, and some people are thriving, but most people have, one way or another, had many, many obstacles that they've gone through or are going through. And just a weariness of it all. So. My dog is sitting on my lap, harassing me to be petted.

[00:07:57] And she does not usually do this. She is adoring herself and she wants to be highly regarded. It doesn't take much, but she's distracting me. 

[00:08:08] Kathy Townsend: Well, it sounds like though. Cause I was thinking, okay, you can't love people on an empty tank, but this is one way to fill up your tank. Is to remember, to remind yourself who you are, whose you are.

[00:08:19] Lenora Turner: Yes. And we heard this and actually, if you listen to last week's episode, one thing he said is he recognized something that I shared and he said, you know what? You're, you need to use your head to talk to your heart.  And he said, it's actually not that easy to do.  And I didn't say anything at the time, but as I pondered that more, even after we were done recording, I know for me, I used to have a hard time looking in the mirror and saying really good things about myself. 

[00:08:44] I had a lot of, actually many years ago, self- hatred. Now did I have some amazing reasons for it? No, I just interpreted if somebody didn't have enough time for me or the different things that went on in our family, that it must have been me.

[00:08:58] I must have been the problem. So I resented myself. Eventually... And it was actually a pretty subconscious thing, eventually you don't realize you did it. You begin to despise who you are, because it must be me that I'm not getting the attention or the love that I thought I was supposed to get.

[00:09:13] I guess I'm not worth it. And then you're going to begin to believe all kinds of terrible things about yourself. And there's another saying that says, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. As a woman thinks in her heart, so is she." As you think over and over and over and over about yourself, you begin to become convinced of it.

[00:09:33] And then your behavior begins to follow. So if you don't think you're worth much, you begin to behave in life as if you're not worth much. You don't even begin to entertain certain good things happening to you because you think, well, that stuff doesn't happen to me. Okay. Maybe it didn't happen to you, but don't decide it's never going to.

[00:09:52] It's amazing how powerful your mind is. Right. And that's why you have to actually use your mind to talk to your heart. And in some cases, talk yourself back out of those painful beliefs you adopted. 

[00:10:06] Kathy Townsend: So, one way to, besides People Code, to get to know yourself better is to. People have different love languages, so they receive love different ways and they, therefore they're giving love different ways. And again, there's not a wrong or a right one, but that's another way to figure out maybe, maybe you're not receiving from your family in your case, you know, when you were younger and it's because they are, their love language is one thing and yours is another.

[00:10:31] And so they think they're showing you love, but you're not receiving that. 

[00:10:37] Lenora Turner: Good point. I know for me, words matter words. If you speak words to me, harsh ones or kind ones, they go a long way. And so, if somebody didn't give a lot of those good words, and maybe they were trying to love me or you, whoever by doing a nice action. Well, that's great that they did that, but they didn't say any good words. And so I didn't feel like, well, if I mattered, they'd say so. 

[00:11:01] Kathy Townsend: Right. 

[00:11:01] Lenora Turner: They may have tried to show it, but but I was, I needed to hear it. 

[00:11:06] Kathy Townsend: And gifts. Gifts is another one. You know, if your love language is gifts. Well, someone gives me a gift that's I really do appreciate it.

[00:11:13] But again, that's not maybe the way I would feel love necessarily. 

[00:11:18] Lenora Turner: Yeah, I know. I'm, I'm not the best at remembering birthdays. I might remember your birthday, but, but I. I'm sorry if Kathy, I probably, I ended up, I missed every birthday you've probably ever had. 

[00:11:30] Kathy Townsend: Our birthdays are really close. 

[00:11:32] Lenora Turner: Oh, see, I didn't remember that.

[00:11:36] Kathy Townsend: Well, they're not here yet. We're clear for 2021. 

[00:11:39] Lenora Turner: Oh, Oh good. I know. It's one of my bottom love languages, whereas I have a sister-in-law who is her top. Hmm, gifts are a big deal. If you want to help her spill special, get her a gift. You know, she likes it'll, it'll go miles for me. It's like, Oh, that's really cool.

[00:11:53] What nice thing do you want to say about me?

[00:11:55] It's just funny. So it's, they're all good, but people are wired differently. There's also quality time. There's hugging, the huggers of this life. Oh my gosh. Physical touch. And we're not even talking about sexual, we're just talking the huggers, the people who always put their hand on your shoulder.

[00:12:12] They're, they're just, you know, they just, yeah, they're just more physical and how tough is COVID on that for so long people couldn't hug. Yeah. So yes, that's a big deal on understanding yourself and receiving love, receiving value. Again, , you are valuable, but you maybe didn't receive that because you misinterpreted how somebody else, you know, said it to you or not.

[00:12:34] Another way to help know yourself or enjoy yourself is kind of think back, what games did you play? Often, we accidentally play and do things that turns out to be skills we have, like, I used to just pretend, well I was a goofball, and so that fits in with The People Code. I turned out to be a high yellow in that book of that kind of personality style.

[00:12:56] But I also didn't know at times I can be funny. So many times, I'm not, but who knew that that was something that could be a gift? My brother tells jokes, he can make me laugh like not everybody can, and I was complimenting him on that. And he said, well, actually, sometimes it's just, I tell more jokes than other people, so the odds go up. And I’m likely to be funny because I tell more jokes. 

[00:13:19] Kathy Townsend: Just by sheer number, their number, someone to laugh.

[00:13:24] Lenora Turner: You're bound to be funny sometimes. 

[00:13:25] Kathy Townsend: Okay, and then, so I think along that line, then what comes easy for you? Yes, 

[00:13:31] Maybe... 

[00:13:31] Lenora Turner: That's nice to know what some of your skills might be, as what comes easy for you.

[00:13:35] People don't appreciate themselves or enjoy their talents because they belittle them. They can sometimes think, well, everybody's good at that. No, they're not. I know somebody who was saying on one of the interviews saying how they loved project management. I go, you have to realize not everybody likes that.

[00:13:50] Some people love crunching numbers. That's all, you're so good at it. And you wonder why somebody else doesn't get it. Well, don't belittle them; but excuse them as they have a different gift. But don't belittle the gifts, the things that come natural to you, that's a talent. It may not be a skill yet. If you invest yourself, get some training, you could develop a real skill. You could probably make money with it. 

[00:14:13] Kathy Townsend: I was just thinking that you can make money with these skills and just figure out what skills, what gifts you have, which interests you have. You know what, and what's fun for you. Work shouldn't be, it shouldn't be a labor.  We should have fun at work. So what, you know, get paid for something that you're enjoying. 

[00:14:28] Lenora Turner: And it took a lot of years for me to gain enough confidence to say, I want to get paid for doing some of the things I knew I tended to be good at. I thought, I actually want to get paid for this.

[00:14:37] And I started heading that direction, but it took a certain level of confidence that that was possible for me before I was willing to take those risks and take those steps. So I think you have to go back to the very beginning of recognize the value you have as a human being that you do have talents, you do have gifts, you have things that you can contribute that absolutely need to be contributed, various different ways.

[00:15:01] And the more confidence you gain in that, and the more likely you are to pursue those things, take a little bit of risk, recognize there's always failures along the way. You learned how to walk by falling down a lot, along the way, you know, so you're going to make mistakes, but that's okay. Keep getting up. And be excited about taking the steps.

[00:15:18] Yeah. 

[00:15:19] Kathy Townsend: You're worth the effort. 

[00:15:20] Lenora Turner: Yes. 

[00:15:21] Kathy Townsend: Your life; a happy life is worth the effort. 

[00:15:23] Lenora Turner: Yeah. And, and learning how to just plain putting the time, do hard work. I mean, I've had plenty of things I do that I don't necessarily love and it's part of the job or part of what needs to be accomplished. So I think that's, it's just good to have a good work ethic, good respect for the, the true labor of things. And sometimes you just power through those things. I don't care what you do if you're going to really be successful at anything, it takes some hard work period. 

[00:15:47] Kathy Townsend: No matter how gifted you are, no matter how yeah. How much it comes naturally to. Yes, there's still work involved to line up with the right people, the right jobs, the right people who are going to pay you, those, all those things. 

[00:16:00] Lenora Turner: Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes you can learn from others. Sometimes you have people around you that are maybe farther along the path, really confident. And they can help you see insights into yourself and, you can ask somebody if you trust them to say something good and say, what do you see?

[00:16:14] I think this, what do you see? Sometimes you'll be surprised and be careful. They'll say, well, you're really good at this. And then people belittle it. No don't belittle what they say. Listen, and you'll begin to recognize and then maybe regard some of the talents you have, part of your purpose on this planet are the gifts that you have and how you can make a difference with others using them. 

[00:16:34] Kathy Townsend: Yeah, that that would be good feedback for you to receive, for people to receive if you can find a trusted person who can really just be honest about what they're seeing in you. That's good.

[00:16:43] Lenora Turner: But again, our soul, our heart, our mind putting those together is supposed to know very well that you are valuable that you are capable, and you can do these things. Again, the more confidence I gained, the more willing I was to step out, take some risks, get up when I fell down, encourage myself and begin to really have more success.

[00:17:06] But if I didn't ever gain that core sense of value, of loving who I am just because I'm a human being and just because God made me and I began to really value myself, it's amazing the strength that comes out of that, the courage that can come out of that, the ability to get up again.

[00:17:26] Kathy Townsend: That can be a real stumbling block for some of us in our lives, too, depending on what's going on. To did not have the courage to just be beat down and to remind yourself, though, that you have value, you have purpose, you have a reason, and you can have fun at it you can achieve your goals. And yeah, that's really good. 

[00:17:45] Lenora Turner: It's worth it. It's so worth it, if you have to, and I recommend this because if you can't do this, you should practice it, I don't care how dumb you feel. You should look in the mirror and be able to say really good things about yourself. And if you laugh, great. But I, when I first did that for real many years ago, I don't remember who told me, it literally was difficult.

[00:18:05] I felt such anger. I felt such how stupid is this? This is so dumb. Why would I do this? Who does this? And I went, okay, that's a big indicator, Lenora. Why the heck would that be a bad thing? Even if it was a dumb thing, so what? 

[00:18:20] Kathy Townsend: Right. 

[00:18:21] Lenora Turner: Really? You can't just say nice things to yourself in a mirror without feeling like an idiot?

[00:18:25] Wow. So do it until you don't. Until you go no, I can take this in. Can you take a compliment? That's an indicator. Sometimes people won't even take a compliment. The people that are always giving themselves compliments in front of everybody, sometimes those are the most insecure people as well.

[00:18:42] They're doing it because they don't actually believe they're valuable. So, does your soul know really well that you're valuable and if not, will you commit to get there? Will you commit to speak life over yourself, to speak good things, to become a friend inside yourself that you really enjoy hanging out with? When you can really enjoy yourself, do you enjoy yourself? You would never do harm to yourself. You would never not get up again. You would never not believe something's possible, that's good for you. If you really enjoyed yourself.  Such a simple thing, but it's where are you really at with you? 

[00:19:23] Kathy Townsend: I'm better over the years, I've gotten much better at enjoying myself. 

[00:19:28] I think it's a good question for all of us to ask ourselves and evaluate where am I? And. Yeah, how do I feel about myself? what do I like? We should get to know ourselves. We're going to be with us forever.

[00:19:38] Lenora Turner: Yeah, I have said this before, but I'm going to say this in this episode, I heard a story years ago. It was from the news. Many young people were trapped underground, and the entire world was watching to see if they could be rescued.

[00:19:55] I don't know how many feet it was. And we knew it was getting close to life or death. Could these people even be rescued as far down as they were with the kind of collapse that had happened in some tunnels and such. And literally by the time these days went on, the entire world was watching and hoping these people would be rescued. And it wasn't so they could go to school the next day. It wasn't so that they could go to their job by 8:00 AM the next morning. Now, obviously we want to go to school. Obviously, we want to have jobs or businesses and produce things, but everyone just wanted them to keep breathing. They wanted them to be on this earth.

[00:20:33] They wanted just a hope of people being rescued the value of their life, their lives. So as you think about enjoying yourself, know that first of all, your value is simply your life, the value of your individual life, those fingerprints that no one else has, the pieces of you, who you are is number one, your purpose, so that you can be enjoyed.

[00:21:01] And in our conviction, enjoyed by your creator, enjoyed by yourself, enjoyed by family members, other humans. And the value you can give into this world is a very real value.  So we can just encourage you, have fun, discovering that and get to the place, if you aren't there already to where you truly can enjoy yourself to the point where your soul knows very well that your design is to be admired, respected, valued, well-regarded. Your design is actually astonishing. How you are made is set apart from other creations. You're delightful. You're brilliant.  God's work in making you was magnificent, extraordinary, beyond anyone's power to create, except for his, you are stunning.

[00:21:47] You're excellent. You're awe- inspiring, and spectacular. Your existence is a divine act and your soul is meant to know that thoroughly. 

[00:21:59] What do you think? 

[00:22:00] Kathy Townsend: I was going to clap.

[00:22:02] I mean, when you read that it is really inspiring.

[00:22:05] Lenora Turner: Reading something like that is why I love word studies. Because we begin to take for granted something we've heard before and we don't hear it anymore.

[00:22:15] So when you rethink, what does that really mean? Then you can kind of wake up to what God's trying to say, what God's trying to tell you is his incredible value of you. If you came from the image of God, you're impressive.  There's just no two ways about it.  If you believe God created the universe, one way or another, then you came from a profound being. That makes you amazing. 

[00:22:44] And it's okay to take that in because when you really get that in a good way about yourself, you'll be kinder than anybody else you know. You'll be more generous than anybody else you know. Because you recognize your value.

[00:22:59] You recognize your ability to reproduce, to produce, to make something. And, and the value of you just being on the planet.  So, you want to be kind, you want to be full of love. You want to be generous, plug into the source first, we're never our own source, but then from there, really learn how to enjoy yourself in a very real way. You know what? We're usually really, really aware of our flaws.  So recognize your core value and that you're human. We all have our flaws. We can be authentic, and we don't have to pretend we're something we're not. But we're amazing as beings.

[00:23:33] And we're supposed to know that really well. 

[00:23:35] Kathy Townsend: And we have a purpose, and we want to leave a legacy behind. Our lives matter.

[00:23:41] Lenora Turner: Absolutely, more than we know. More than we know. 

[00:23:44] Kathy Townsend:  This has been fun. . .  

[00:23:45] Lenora Turner: We hope you enjoy yourself.

[00:23:49] If you go to lenoradiane.com, sign up on our email list, we'll make sure over this next week that we get out to you a digital version of what we read on this podcast, because it's just encouraging.

[00:24:01] You can look in the mirror if you want to and get comfortable talking about how valuable you are. Have a great week. Take good care of you.